"New Woman"... at life

To those interested in the happenings of my first week of graduate school,

Thank you for asking, for encouraging, for caring.  It means so much to have so many of you remember me in your thoughts and prayers.  I'm sorry I'm terrible at consistently updating you all on the details of my life, but I truly am thankful for you!

So how was my first week?  Well... [warning: this is about to be more of a "novel" than a "letter]

Every day felt like "oh my goodness, it's the first day of school!"  Yep, I went to school every day feeling like everything was happening for the very first time.
Nevermind that I did my undergrad here.
Nevermind that there are just as many familiar faces as unfamiliar ones.
Nevermind that I'm pretty good at school.
Because I have never been a teaching assistant (TA) before.  
Because I have never been an administrative assistant (AA) before.  
Because I've never been an AA to three different people before.

I had extremely vivid flashbacks to my "new woman" year at PMO.  (Those of you who don't know what that means--your first year at PMO, you are a "new man/woman," and you pretty much don't know a thing.  You keep your "new" status until the beginning of the next year, when there is a whole new class of "new men and women" who don't know what they're doing.)  As a new woman, there was so much that I didn't know.  There were tons of things expected from me--none of them were particularly difficult; it was just the sheer quantity that was somewhat overwhelming.  And sure, there were plenty of PMO folks who were very much on my side and wanted me to succeed, but they could only "teach" and prepare me so much... the rest I had to learn as it was happening.  (PMO friends, you know exactly what I mean!)

So... as a first-week, first-year grad student, I felt like a new woman... at life.  I loved my classes, my professors, my classmates, and the second-years, but the TA/AA responsibilities on top of it all were pretty overwhelming.  Nothing I had to do was difficult in retrospect, but being assigned things that I'd never been taught how to do until 30 seconds before actually doing them... not my cup of tea.  I like having a plan, a schedule, an outline, an instruction manual... funny how life doesn't always work that way.  Friday morning, I woke up and said, "I still have one more day before the weekend???"  

Grad school is exhausting (can you tell?).  But praise God that He's put me in a field I love, and that He carries me!  Because as crazy, stressful, and tiring as this week was... I loved it!  Especially the beginning of the week, when we kept hearing/saying "first year students", "the second years", etc... I felt like I was at Hogwarts.--and getting our clinical placements was very much like being sorted into Houses.  Oh, and the second years bake really well... in grad school, I might gain the weight that I didn't gain in undergrad.  Haha!

This week, I tried this new thing... actively choosing to remain unstressed.  Firstly, I figured that there would be 15 more weeks to truly stress out.  Secondly, and more importantly--in my weakness, God kept reminding me to cast my cares upon Him, because He cares for me. (I Peter 5:7)  Even today, God reminded me that He is my strength, my fortress and refuge when I am distressed (Psalm 59:16-17).

Eeep!  I just had a very "spiritual linguistic nerd" moment... "De-Stress and Distress:  Jesus is the Difference"... wouldn't that make a fantastic sermon/workshop title?  Haha but seriously...

Sorry, I'm starting to ramble.  Friends, if you're still reading, thank you for sticking it out with me!  In so many ways, I'm blessed to have you :)

So to wrap it all up:  I think I really do love grad school.  And as overwhelming as everything is, I'm choosing not to be overwhelmed.  I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds tomorrow.  As much as I don't like being in the position of "not knowing," I love that God is using this experience to show me how good and gracious He is.  And if "not knowing" is what He uses to draw me closer and make me more like Him, then so be it... He is truly more than enough! 

Blessings, 

-Alyce

 

Jesus loves me! This I know,

For the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong;

They are weak, but He is strong

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

The Bible tells me so.