Practically Speaking...

In my last post, I talked about my New Year's Resolutions, which were:

• To care about what Jesus thinks, not what others think
• To spend more time with Jesus
• To prioritize the things Jesus cares about, not what the world says I should care about
• cf Proverbs 31, Micah 6:8, Matthew 6:33, etc....
• To review/recall God's promises instead of dwelling on my fears

(You can click here to read the whole thing on how/why I arrived at my resolutions.)

Upon reflection, I thought--what does that look like in the everyday?

And then I recalled Proverbs 31:30, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Which basically means, It doesn't matter if others think you're great, or if you're drop-dead gorgeous; sister, it's your attitude towards God that matters.

[Flashback!]

Some months ago, I studied Proverbs 31, which has been the go-to passage for Christian women for a long, long time.  I went through the whole thing and wrote down all the characteristics that make a woman praiseworthy--in other words, traits that God values in a woman.  This was the result:

And there I had it--a very succinct, practical list of what God says is important.

Right off the bat, I thought, Whoa. This is so different than what the world tells me, so different from what we women tend to pursue. Yet, I'm not sure I know a woman who doesn't want to be strong, dignified, knowledgeable, discerning, unafraid, attentive, wise, kind... 

Then I looked at myself and went, Oooh boy. I've got a long way to go.

I understood, though, these traits don't happen overnight.  I know many godly women who exemplify many of these traits, and they'd be the first to tell you that these traits were built over time, with lots of effort and so much grace from God.  They'd also note that God is still working these traits into them.

[Back to the present!]

If I want to be a Proverbs 31 kind of woman, I have to get crackin'! 

To paraphrase the question I asked earlier--in practical terms, what does shaping my thoughts/actions by God's standards look like?

Personally, I'll start with verse 26.  I've realized in the last few weeks that I struggle really hard to speak with wisdom and kindness.  Lately, I've become more aware of when my comments have been immature, unnecessarily sarcastic, cutting, or downright mean.  (Ironic, a little bit, that my profession is all about language...)  My words need more wisdom, kindness, gentleness, humility, and love; and less selfishness, anger, pride, and foolishness.  It all boils down to my need for Jesus, my need for the Holy Spirit to restrain and guide me in my speech--and in every area.  By the grace of God, the words that come from my mouth will be mature, encouraging, and life-giving.

From there... well, we'll see.  I don't know what'll be next, but my Shepherd does; and that's enough for me!

- Alyce

Resolutions

Most of the time, I'm terrible at New Year's Resolutions; I can't seem to think of a single one before the clock strikes 12, no matter how hard I try.  But this year, I have some.  

Before I share my resolutions, though... 2015 was the year that God dealt with more weaknesses than I knew about, and more insecurities than I cared to admit.  (By the way, isn't it funny how I said "insecurities," but really, that's just the dressed-up term for "fears," used because it sounds more put-together than admitting I'm scared of things?) 

I'm about to describe some of the gunk that's (still) being worked out of me... In one way or another, these are all areas where I have cared too much about what someone else (or a group of someones) thinks, and not cared enough about what God thinks.  But God is still so merciful and gracious--for each of my fears, His love has a greater comeback!

The yuck:

I fear being alone.  I fear being forgotten/replaced.  I fear being left out.  I fear caring "too much."  I don't like change, especially when it comes to the people who I hold close.  I confess that I don't like sharing my friends.  As in, I love when my friends love each other, and I love when my friends spend time together; but my sin nature struggles with the fear that my friends will be "stolen" from me, and the jealousy that comes from not being invited.  This year, for several different reasons, I experienced a lot of change in my social circles, and had to call out this immaturity and face this ugly truth about myself.

I fear disappointing the people I love.  I fear that I've made poor choices--either doing the wrong thing, or missing out on a right thing.  I fear not being good enough, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a professional... as a person.  I fear that I haven't been or done enough for others to be proud of me.  In retrospect, I think much of this set of fears stemmed from a time in 2014 where I was constantly told, in a variety of ways, that I was no good.  (Two side notes... 1, a reminder to be kind in word and deed.  2, when a lie is presented often enough, it doesn't really matter how strong a person is.)  So this year, I had to own up to the fact that I am not nearly as strong as I thought I was.

I fear confrontation.  I'm definitely an extrovert, so most people are shocked when I tell them I used to be too shy to order my own food at restaurants.  True story.  Also, phone calls stress me out.  I've gotten better at them over time, but I often write myself two scripts before I call someone I don't know (one for if I get a live person, another for if I get their voicemail).  Anyway, I also don't like when people are upset; so 99% of the time, I will avoid confrontation like the plague.  So God was like, "here are some confrontations that you can't avoid, and here is how to handle them."  (Isn't that just like Him, to make me extremely uncomfortable and face what I don't want to, but giving grace throughout it?)

I fear vulnerability.  On a "Friend-ometer" scale from 1-10 (with 1 being "I just met you," and 10 being "only God knows me better than you do"), it's super easy for me to let others in to a level 7.5 or 8.  With me, I'm very "what you see is what you get."  But to get any deeper than that?  To find out what really hurts me?  To find out what I've struggled with in the past?  To find where my walls are, and why they're there?  Good luck... because I think that if I'm vulnerable, I'll end up being left out or a disappointment (and remember, I'm scared of those things).

But then...

When I finally took these fears to Jesus in prayer, and finally laid them down in a painfully honest conversation, there was something of an avalanche of truth.  What did He say?  Among other things...

• I will never leave you or forsake you (Joshua 1:5; Hebrews 13:5)
• My steadfast love shall not depart from you (Isaiah 54:10)
• I called you from the womb and named your name (Isaiah 49:1)
• I have engraved you on the palms of My hands (Isaiah 49:16)
• I have loved you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3)
• I loved you before you knew Me (Romans 5:8)
• Love as I have loved you (John 15:12)
• If I am for you, no one can be against you (Romans 8:31)
• I am your Helper (Hebrews 13:16)
• I rejoice over you (Zephaniah 3:17)
• I will strengthen and help you (Isaiah 41:10)
• My thoughts are not your thoughts (Isaiah 55:9)
• I direct your steps (Proverbs 16:9)
• I know you... I formed your inward parts (Psalm 139)
• Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit (Zechariah 4:6)
• I work all things together for good (Romans 8:28)

Well, then.  Talk about refocusing my perspective... how good is my Savior?  (SO. GOOD.)
And for most of my life, I've known that I need Him; but this year has helped me understand and feel that need so much more acutely.

So, my New Year's Resolutions. 
(though, really, I should call them "life resolutions" or "daily resolutions," because they're not just for 2016 and don't need to wait for New Year's Day)...

• To care about what Jesus thinks, not what others think
• To spend more time with Jesus
• To prioritize the things Jesus cares about, not what the world says I should care about
• cf Proverbs 31, Micah 6:8, Matthew 6:33, etc....
• To review/recall God's promises instead of dwelling on my fears

Happy New Year!

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in Him.' The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." - Lamentations 3:22-26

- Alyce

Let the Children Come

"...Jesus called them to him, saying, 'Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.'"  -- Luke 18:16

For most of my church's existence, the Kids Church has not had a worship team, but the teachers have led worship in song using worship tracks and a PowerPoint.  We praise the Lord that we have had such equipment; but as of the past few weeks, we have switched to a live worship team leading the kids in worshiping Jesus.  God has blessed us in growing our worship team so that we can have essentially 2 teams on a Sunday (one in "big church" and one for Kids Church), and it has been so fun to see how He is working!

You know how teachers are always saying, "I learn so much from my students"?  In serving on the Kids Church team, it's kind of been like that for me, and I wanted to write down some observations/reflections that I've taken from the experience.

1. Jesus loves the little children.  Maybe it sounds cliche or super obvious, but it's so true!  I'm naturally a "kid person," but I definitely am loving the kids more than I did before.  In leading Kids Church worship, I've been getting little glimpses of just how much Jesus loves them, and it's indescribable.  I highly recommend it.

2. Leading Kids Church worship is a whole different situation than leading "big church".  It is simultaneously modeling worship, teaching the truths of why we sing what we sing, and coaching (e.g. "let's think/sing about __").  And then there are the distractions--some kids are observing but not participating, others are talking to/bothering their neighbor, and still others are playing with toys and being generally disruptive.  Oh, and I almost forgot--the whole time, we're playing instruments and/or singing, too.

3. A Kids Church worship team is not the "Junior Varsity" team.  Let's squish that lie right now.  Sure, the mean age of the congregation is significantly smaller that that of "big church," we have a shorter set list, and the kids are usually sillier than the adults, but leading children in worship is a serious undertaking:

"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea." -- Mark 9:42  (Jesus uses similar words in Matthew 18 and Luke 17)

Because Jesus is serious about the kids, we should be, too.  God forbid that we ever be anything less than genuine, Christ-centered worshipers--all the time, yes, but especially in this capacity!  So maybe a better analogy for leading Kids Church worship would be the Special Teams--where the team has to utilize certain people with skills specifically suited to the situation.  Like Jesus meets us where we are, we want to meet the kids where they are.  (Example:  even song selection is tricky, because we want songs that fit the trifecta of sound doctrine, kid-friendly music style, and simple words that are easy to understand and sing.)  

4. For our team specifically, our Sundays are like running a 400m race.  I use this comparison because we give 100%, an all-out sprint, throughout. the. entire. set... twice.  Minimal instrumental breaks, minimal silence, and mostly high-tempo, high-energy songs... It's a very practical application of "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength."  It is physically and mentally draining, leading a room full of pre-K through 5th grade kids.  BUT.

5. I cannot begin to tell you... It is incomparably rewarding.  The girl who spouts out the memory verse unprompted.  The boy who closes his eyes and lifts his head to sing, even as 3 other kids around him are fidgeting.  The girl who raises her hands high before her teachers do.  The boy who redirects his distracted buddy and reminds him that we're singing to Jesus.  The little ones who sing and dance with unbridled joy.  The children--even if just a few--who are realizing the greatness and worthiness of our God.  The reality that they are experiencing the Holy Spirit.  And the fact that Jesus is winning their hearts early.  We get to be a part of that?!  Do we need any more reasons or motivation to do what we do?!

"Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." -- Luke 18:17

To wrap this up:  I was really excited when I was first asked to serve in this way; it had been something for which I had been hoping for a while, and it was so cool to see it begin.  But now, as it has been happening, I am even more excited!  I may be exhausted, but my heart is so full.  I have seen my own weaknesses more clearly, felt my need for Jesus much more keenly, and craved the Holy Spirit more deeply.  I'm so looking forward to what God will do.  Here's to loving God and loving His children--especially the little ones!

Only One Opinion Matters (and it's not mine)

Hi.

If you're reading this, you've probably also seen a lot of (heated) discussion on social media.  Me, too.  For every issue that's presented, I at least hold an opinion, if not a conviction.  (My guess is, you do, too.)  I appreciate seeing diverse viewpoints represented, but it saddens me to see so many "us vs. them" posts--from all sides.

I have a question.  When was the last time anyone successfully used social media to argue a point to where the other party eventually agreed with them?  As in, admitting wrong and embracing the opposite belief? ... I ask because I've never seen it done, so arguing online seems futile to me.

Remember when social networking sites started out as a way to connect people?  I have a crazy notion that we can go back to using social media as a means of connecting people, instead of causing or fueling division.  Most of my friends are responsible adults, who would encourage others to ask themselves:  Is what I'm about to post... true? kind? appropriate? something I would say in person? ... So how is it that we get passionate about our opinions and then throw those principles out the window?

I cannot claim immunity--I try hard, but I'm by no means perfect at this.  Thankfully, I have great friends who have kindly, privately, and personally called me out and given me the chance to take down thoughtless words without serious damage to my reputation.  In these processes, I have (1) appreciated the gracious way my friends handled my errors, (2) learned about myself and my words, and (3) grown to respect them even more.  As I reflect, I think, What if everyone did that?  What if, instead of debating and arguing online, where the whole world can see and tone is all but impossible to convey, we had face-to-face conversations, in private settings, using kind words?   I bet we could communicate much more effectively, and there would be way fewer relationships severed in the name of being "right."

Speaking of "being right"... I almost titled this post "My/Your Opinion Doesn't Matter," but I didn't because I'm neither of low self-esteem nor looking to start an argument.  (Also, it would be giving my opinion that our opinions don't matter--how contradictory, right?)  However, if you're still with me...

Per God's Word to us (that's the Bible)... What are we except fragile, finite, imperfect, sinful, created beings in a universe we have barely begun to understand?  And when compared to the all-knowing, all-powerful, always-present, infinite, perfect, Creator God... there is no comparison! 

So who am I--who is anyone--to tell God, "No, You're wrong, I disagree"?  God is always right--that's part of being God.  If God was wrong, then He wouldn't be God.  He is the One who defines what is right, what is wrong, what is good, and what is evil.  Therefore, in every issue that we raise, His opinion is the only one that matters.  By His nature, His opinions are definitions; they are the final Truth.  Even if it makes us uncomfortable, even if it doesn't make sense to us, He is right, good, and just.  Again, it's part of what makes Him God.  It's we who need to change our thinking, not Him.  People say others are on the "wrong side of history," forgetting that no matter how many people hold the same view, they are still wrong if God is not on that side.  Truthfully, whatever we say has no value in and of ourselves.  

But here's something amazing--He gives us value!  He made us in His image, which means we all reflect aspects of Who He is.  Our intellect, creativity, humor, reasoning, emotions, morals, everything that makes us human--are His gifts.  Despite our constant rejection of Him, despite our constant offenses against Him and each other (aka sin), He still loves us.  And about 2000 years ago, He sent His Son, Jesus, as a perfect sacrifice to die and rise again so that we could be forgiven and have abundant life!  (By the way, friend, that was when Love Actually Won.  This is the Gospel Truth!)

If this wonderful, amazing God has given us incomparable, undeserved value... who are we to bicker with, call names at, and cut down those who bear that same, priceless image of God?  When we do that, we are essentially pushing aside grace and perpetuating the lie that "Jesus' sacrifice was enough for everything except __."  

On the other hand, let's not mistake the Love of God for license to do whatever we want.  
God still sets the rules.  If anyone would say, "You can't judge me; only God can judge me," the statement is correct--but should only be said with reverence, holy fear, and an absolute certainty that they are not found lacking in His eyes. 

Now, it's okay to debate.  In fact, God said "let us reason together," and "the glory of kings is to search out a matter."  Truth stands regardless of what arguments are thrown at it, so let's have a healthy discussion and figure it out together.  Many of the "hot topic" issues in our world today are not directly addressed in the Bible, so I'm excited to get to Heaven and have our questions and debates put to rest once and for all.  And given our current, flawed existence, there will be plenty of areas in which God will correct all of us.

In the meantime, in light of Who God is and what He has done, our responsibility in responding to these issues would be to do what He asks--to "do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly," and to "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave [us]."

That's what I try to do.  I hope you'll join me.

- Alyce

Cheers

Dear Teachers/Mentors/Supervisors,

Thank God for you.  Truly.  I am deeply grateful for you.  And today, I want to recognize two of the best I have ever had.  But before I do, a little life update for some context:

One year ago, I was convinced that I was absolutely NOT going to do these two things after finishing grad school:

• Stay in the Midwest, and
• Become a school SLP 

As you read this, I am:

• Residing in the Midwest, as a
• School SLP
• And genuinely enjoying it!

The full story is 10000% a God-thing, a cool story I hope to tell another time.  Nevertheless, these two phenomenal people were nothing short of instrumental in this change in life planning.  (Timeline: I met them both during my educational externship, basically student teaching, in the second-to-last semester of grad school.)

Okay.  And now I want to highlight five reasons that they were (and still are!) extraordinary. 

1. They were genuine. 

From the first days that I met each of them, they took a genuine interest in me.  I was not just as a SLP-to-be, not just an extern, not just an extra set of hands... I was a person, and they took the time to get to know me.  They were also transparent about themselves, readily sharing about their families, professional and personal experiences, things they enjoyed, things that were hard.  It is incredibly rare to learn from someone who "gets" you, and whom you also "get"... and I had two. 

2. They were clear in their expectations.

Again, from Day One... I knew what was expected of me because they told me.  There was no reading between the lines.  They told me from the beginning that the experience wasn't going to be easy, but it would be worthwhile.  They let me know what I needed to do and when those things had to be done.  "Communication is key" is a rather "duh" statement to say to SLPs, but knowing vs utilizing a principle are two different things... and they did so, brilliantly.

3. They showed that they believed in me.  

They didn't just set a bar for me to clear; they challenged me to push the bar higher--they stuck me in the driver's seat and expected me to be all-in.  They didn't just ask for my opinion rhetorically or just to check my knowledge; many times they honestly asked for my ideas and input.  They didn't inflate my ego; they built my confidence.  They gave me tools/tips/tricks that would set me up for success.  In short, I was very aware that they were investing in me.

4. They let me make mistakes.  

Sure, making mistakes is inevitable.  But sometimes, instead of an "I told you so," or "You shouldn't have done __," we get specific feedback and the chance to correct a mistake.  And in doing so, we get a learning experience... we come away with a better, longer-lasting understanding than we would have had in getting the answer right the first time.  Not to say that the learning curve catered to my type-A personality, but because they gave me those chances, the fear of making mistakes was gone.  Because they let me do things on my own and learn from my mistakes, the result was what I'd call a "professional growth spurt."

5. They were incredibly gracious, understanding, and encouraging.  

They didn't dredge up errors from Weeks 1-2 during Weeks 9-10; they highlighted all the progress I'd made.  They remembered and shared their own grad school experiences.  They remembered mistakes of their own.  They listened.  They said what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it.  Even when I was critiqued or corrected, I knew that they were looking out for my best interests.

So for an incredible, 10-week whirlwind of my life... 
They were my teachers.  Mentors.  Supervisors.  
And they gave me a learning experience that entailed more than I could have ever hoped for.

Then after that (yeah, there's more!), they went the extra mile to check in, pep-talk, and even give some tough love.  They have become my friends.  They have taught me about our profession, and they also taught me about life.  They have become role models.  Now, we are colleagues, and they continue to demonstrate traits and skills I try to emulate.  I owe so much of who I am as a SLP to them... "Thank You" doesn't even begin to cover it.

And the sum of all that, my fellow educators, is what made all the difference in my educational/professional experience.  The biggest lessons are learned outside of traditional pedagogy and standardized tests... they are best caught, not taught.  Every day, our lives teach something.  Those lessons add up.  And every once in a while, what we do helps change someone's life plan for the better.  So here's to you, here's to us being the best teachers we can be--the best examples we can be.

- Alyce