In my last post, I talked about my New Year's Resolutions, which were:
- To care about what Jesus thinks, not what others think
- To spend more time with Jesus
- To prioritize the things Jesus cares about, not what the world says I should care about
- cf Proverbs 31, Micah 6:8, Matthew 6:33, etc....
- To review/recall God's promises instead of dwelling on my fears
(You can click here to read the whole thing on how/why I arrived at my resolutions.)
Upon reflection, I thought--what does that look like in the everyday?
And then I recalled Proverbs 31:30, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Which basically means, It doesn't matter if others think you're great, or if you're drop-dead gorgeous; sister, it's your attitude towards God that matters.
[Flashback!]
Some months ago, I studied Proverbs 31, which has been the go-to passage for Christian women for a long, long time. I went through the whole thing and wrote down all the characteristics that make a woman praiseworthy--in other words, traits that God values in a woman. This was the result:
And there I had it--a very succinct, practical list of what God says is important.
Right off the bat, I thought, Whoa. This is so different than what the world tells me, so different from what we women tend to pursue. Yet, I'm not sure I know a woman who doesn't want to be strong, dignified, knowledgeable, discerning, unafraid, attentive, wise, kind...
Then I looked at myself and went, Oooh boy. I've got a long way to go.
I understood, though, these traits don't happen overnight. I know many godly women who exemplify many of these traits, and they'd be the first to tell you that these traits were built over time, with lots of effort and so much grace from God. They'd also note that God is still working these traits into them.
[Back to the present!]
If I want to be a Proverbs 31 kind of woman, I have to get crackin'!
To paraphrase the question I asked earlier--in practical terms, what does shaping my thoughts/actions by God's standards look like?
Personally, I'll start with verse 26. I've realized in the last few weeks that I struggle really hard to speak with wisdom and kindness. Lately, I've become more aware of when my comments have been immature, unnecessarily sarcastic, cutting, or downright mean. (Ironic, a little bit, that my profession is all about language...) My words need more wisdom, kindness, gentleness, humility, and love; and less selfishness, anger, pride, and foolishness. It all boils down to my need for Jesus, my need for the Holy Spirit to restrain and guide me in my speech--and in every area. By the grace of God, the words that come from my mouth will be mature, encouraging, and life-giving.
From there... well, we'll see. I don't know what'll be next, but my Shepherd does; and that's enough for me!
- Alyce
Most of the time, I'm terrible at New Year's Resolutions; I can't seem to think of a single one before the clock strikes 12, no matter how hard I try. But this year, I have some.
Before I share my resolutions, though... 2015 was the year that God dealt with more weaknesses than I knew about, and more insecurities than I cared to admit. (By the way, isn't it funny how I said "insecurities," but really, that's just the dressed-up term for "fears," used because it sounds more put-together than admitting I'm scared of things?)
I'm about to describe some of the gunk that's (still) being worked out of me... In one way or another, these are all areas where I have cared too much about what someone else (or a group of someones) thinks, and not cared enough about what God thinks. But God is still so merciful and gracious--for each of my fears, His love has a greater comeback!
The yuck:
I fear being alone. I fear being forgotten/replaced. I fear being left out. I fear caring "too much." I don't like change, especially when it comes to the people who I hold close. I confess that I don't like sharing my friends. As in, I love when my friends love each other, and I love when my friends spend time together; but my sin nature struggles with the fear that my friends will be "stolen" from me, and the jealousy that comes from not being invited. This year, for several different reasons, I experienced a lot of change in my social circles, and had to call out this immaturity and face this ugly truth about myself.
I fear disappointing the people I love. I fear that I've made poor choices--either doing the wrong thing, or missing out on a right thing. I fear not being good enough, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a professional... as a person. I fear that I haven't been or done enough for others to be proud of me. In retrospect, I think much of this set of fears stemmed from a time in 2014 where I was constantly told, in a variety of ways, that I was no good. (Two side notes... 1, a reminder to be kind in word and deed. 2, when a lie is presented often enough, it doesn't really matter how strong a person is.) So this year, I had to own up to the fact that I am not nearly as strong as I thought I was.
I fear confrontation. I'm definitely an extrovert, so most people are shocked when I tell them I used to be too shy to order my own food at restaurants. True story. Also, phone calls stress me out. I've gotten better at them over time, but I often write myself two scripts before I call someone I don't know (one for if I get a live person, another for if I get their voicemail). Anyway, I also don't like when people are upset; so 99% of the time, I will avoid confrontation like the plague. So God was like, "here are some confrontations that you can't avoid, and here is how to handle them." (Isn't that just like Him, to make me extremely uncomfortable and face what I don't want to, but giving grace throughout it?)
I fear vulnerability. On a "Friend-ometer" scale from 1-10 (with 1 being "I just met you," and 10 being "only God knows me better than you do"), it's super easy for me to let others in to a level 7.5 or 8. With me, I'm very "what you see is what you get." But to get any deeper than that? To find out what really hurts me? To find out what I've struggled with in the past? To find where my walls are, and why they're there? Good luck... because I think that if I'm vulnerable, I'll end up being left out or a disappointment (and remember, I'm scared of those things).
But then...
When I finally took these fears to Jesus in prayer, and finally laid them down in a painfully honest conversation, there was something of an avalanche of truth. What did He say? Among other things...
- I will never leave you or forsake you (Joshua 1:5; Hebrews 13:5)
- My steadfast love shall not depart from you (Isaiah 54:10)
- I called you from the womb and named your name (Isaiah 49:1)
- I have engraved you on the palms of My hands (Isaiah 49:16)
- I have loved you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3)
- I loved you before you knew Me (Romans 5:8)
- Love as I have loved you (John 15:12)
- If I am for you, no one can be against you (Romans 8:31)
- I am your Helper (Hebrews 13:16)
- I rejoice over you (Zephaniah 3:17)
- I will strengthen and help you (Isaiah 41:10)
- My thoughts are not your thoughts (Isaiah 55:9)
- I direct your steps (Proverbs 16:9)
- I know you... I formed your inward parts (Psalm 139)
- Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit (Zechariah 4:6)
- I work all things together for good (Romans 8:28)
Well, then. Talk about refocusing my perspective... how good is my Savior? (SO. GOOD.)
And for most of my life, I've known that I need Him; but this year has helped me understand and feel that need so much more acutely.
So, my New Year's Resolutions.
(though, really, I should call them "life resolutions" or "daily resolutions," because they're not just for 2016 and don't need to wait for New Year's Day)...
- To care about what Jesus thinks, not what others think
- To spend more time with Jesus
- To prioritize the things Jesus cares about, not what the world says I should care about
- cf Proverbs 31, Micah 6:8, Matthew 6:33, etc....
- To review/recall God's promises instead of dwelling on my fears
Happy New Year!
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in Him.' The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." - Lamentations 3:22-26
- Alyce
